Why husbands cheat on their pregnant wives - comments from men and advice from a psychologist. Husband cheated on his wife during pregnancy: recommendations for both parties Read more about cheating

Today, cheating is one of the most pressing questions that many people ask. This phenomenon is quite common, because in families such situations occur. If you pay attention to the statistics, you can see that men go to the left much more often than women. But what to do if your wife cheated? Secretly remain silent and continue to love or arrange a full debriefing? We'll look into this a little below.

More about treason

No matter how sad this definition may sound, adultery is the lowest betrayal, an insult to the other half and a violation of the rules of fidelity. This is a very unpleasant action that cannot be justified or elevated. But the main question is why people cheat on each other. Unfortunately, there is no specific answer. There are only guesses why this happens:

• tired of the same sexual partner, wanted variety;
• revenge for pain once caused;
• tendency to have constant sexual intercourse.

It is these reasons that can at least somehow explain why there is a discord in the relationship between two people. Basically, people encounter situations when a man betrays. In general, it is generally accepted that only the male sex is prone to such behavior. But for some reason everyone is silent about the fact that a woman can do the same. If people lived happily in a marriage, but a break occurred and the wife cheated on her husband, what to do? How can we continue to live in a family where there is no longer peace, trust and love? Until a few centuries ago, those who were once unfaithful were subject to terrible punishments. Some were tortured with rods, others were beaten to a pulp. There is no need to beat around the bush; a striking example of this is Caucasian families. One has only to read about betrayal to imagine the situation as a whole.

Another interesting fact is that humanity does not stand still. Now the picture of family relationships is completely different, everything is turned upside down. Many began to consider sexual relations on the side to be the norm and absolutely adequate behavior for a partner. People don't ask themselves what to do if their wife cheats. Such relationships are often called “open”. In other words, two people allow each other to go outside, but also continue to live together. Ask why exactly? Most likely, it has become more convenient to be around a person, less nerves are wasted, jealousy and dependence go away. This is a kind of decline in the moral values ​​of the couple, but they are not worried about conversations from the outside.

All that matters to them is that the relationship has become quieter and more down-to-earth. If it’s easier for someone to live and breathe, let them lead a similar lifestyle. After all, we have no right to condemn policies that are unacceptable to us.

Female infidelity and its supposed causes

Let's say a loving husband finds out that his wife has cheated, what to do in this situation? First, you need to find a good reason why this happened. And secondly, find out whether there was any betrayal at all. Here is a suggested list of possible reasons why a woman allowed herself to betray a man:

1. Dissatisfaction with your own marriage. Many psychologists cite this very reason as the main one. Sometimes, it is easier for a woman to cheat than to divorce a man and deprive their common children of a father. This is women's logic; unfortunately, it is useless to argue with it.
2. There was an action on the part of the husband that greatly offended the woman. Treason acts as a kind of revenge for the fact that there was once pain in the heart. Women are very vindictive, you should always be prepared for this.
3. Lack of feelings for a man, no more love. Perhaps the woman simply met someone else who got her into bed. In this case, she will do everything to start a new romance, so that new fresh sensations, emotions and feelings will flare up in her heart.
4. Sudden passion. Psychologists explain this reason as the strangest; there is no specific adequate explanation for it.

But, despite all the above reasons, this action of the wife cannot be justified in any way. After all, first of all, this is a violation of moral values ​​and the vows that were given during the marriage.

The first thing that all experts begin their training with is instruction. In other words, you shouldn’t raise your hand to the fair sex, you just need to move on with your life as it was before. Yes, the soul will be crippled and severely wounded, but life and joy do not end there. Few people can come to terms with and forgive a person, because it is too difficult. Some men spend hours on the Internet looking for an answer to the main question, while others go to a real psychologist to tell them about their current family situation. Experts will definitely help you get out and find the right solution. So here is a step-by-step analysis if an unfaithful wife cheats. What to do? Advice from a psychologist will help you figure out:

Betrayal for a spouse, especially for one who is in a position, is immoral behavior. Not only psychologists, but also men who have encountered this are sure of this. My wife is cheating, what should I do? The advice of many experts boils down to the fact that you need to pay attention to the health of your spouse. Just remember that you cannot use force, since a girl in a position is a very fragile creature. She carries a baby under her heart - and this is already a good reason to figure things out differently. My pregnant wife cheated, what should I do? The smartest thing to do is to wait until the child is born. Any stress and strong conflict can adversely affect the unborn baby, who is not to blame for anything.

One of the most important moments in restoring communication is understanding what has been done and complete repentance. In order to forget about betrayal in the future, it is important to understand for yourself that this will never happen again. A woman must admit her guilt, otherwise is there any point in forgiveness?

Let the path of complete awareness not last at the snap of a finger, but for a very long time - this road must be overcome by two people. And only if this stage is survived, the relationship will become even stronger and move to a new level.

If the relationship between a man and a woman becomes cracked, and they do not repair it, cheating may begin. Sometimes betrayal happens during pregnancy and there may be several reasons for this.

He is jealous. His wife loved him, spoiled him in bed, gave him almost 100% attention, and suddenly something changed - pregnancy occurred. During this period, many women do not think at all about male infidelity. The condition of the unborn child is important to them. If a man is strong, patient and independent, he can survive lack of attention. If he is weak and addicted by nature, he will find another woman who will satisfy and amuse his ego during this period.

How to prevent. Continue to pay attention to him as before - before pregnancy. It may be difficult to concentrate on your husband when all your thoughts are on your child. But you don’t want to face male infidelity. If a man is not approved and praised, then, willy-nilly, he will want to complete the missing puzzle somewhere on the side.

They brush him off. Why does a husband cheat on his pregnant wife? Often the reason is hidden in female hormones. During pregnancy, a woman’s psyche receives a powerful hormonal shock. Not only tastes change temporarily, but the entire body as a whole changes. Literally everything can be repulsive, for example, the smell of a man.

How to prevent. Try to express love, if not physical, then at least with verbal affection. Talk openly with your husband and tell him that this or that is unpleasant for you. Perhaps he will think more about personal hygiene or stop buying products that you suddenly suddenly hate.

He's tired of hysterics. Pregnancy makes some women calm, while others become real furies. During such a period, you are sure that you are right in everything and your hysterics are completely justified. For example, your loved one took up masculine affairs - he went to a barbecue with friends and does not answer the phone, and you begin to suspect him of. Moreover, because of hormones, your feelings become aggravated and you are sure that he no longer loves you. A couple of times the husband will tolerate this, hug and prove his love. But endless hysterics will drive anyone crazy, and then the husband will begin to cheat on his pregnant wife.

How to prevent. Talk to your gynecologist about taking sedatives. Natural medicines such as Sedasen and Motherwort Forte are completely harmless, but will quickly bring you to an adequate state. You will save not only your nerves, but also your husband’s nerves. Pamper him with a delicious dinner or freshly brewed coffee. Perhaps now you will begin to protest: “But it’s he who has to please me, the pregnant woman.” Believe me, he is already doing what he can - he works for you, provides for you. It’s no less difficult for him than it is for you. No man would like a secondary role in the family. Therefore, be not a capricious girl, but a wise woman. Such a person himself will want to show more love and affection.

He was limited in sex. Some women during pregnancy are so worried about themselves and the child that they completely refuse sex. That’s why the husband cheats on his pregnant wife – he can’t live without physical intimacy, but he’s embarrassed to tell you.

How to prevent. If you're in your 2nd trimester, sex won't be a problem. On the contrary, it will relieve you of depression and bring you closer to the man you love. In the 1st and 3rd trimesters, if the doctor has forbidden you to make love, give your husband oral sex more often, and bring in the romance yourself. Then you definitely won’t encounter male infidelity. But don’t turn into a nymphomaniac just to keep him from taking a careless step. Moderation is good in everything.

He himself is afraid of hurting you. This is a serious psychological problem that can push a man to cheat on his pregnant wife. Some representatives of the stronger sex find it really difficult to approach their woman who is expecting a child. After this, an incredible feeling of guilt arises, but they can’t help themselves.

How to prevent. To relieve the man of guilt, tell him that you yourself fear for the health of the child. If the problem is really only fear, make do with mutual affection, say more tender words to each other, and then the flame of love will not go out.

If the husband has already cheated on his pregnant wife

What could be worse than hearing about betrayal? If you can read this article, it means that you have already recovered from the shock and are ready to take action to return to yourself, your beloved.

1. Do not look for someone to blame in yourself or your child. And especially do not try to terminate the pregnancy. If a person did it, then so be it. Let him go home and think about how to improve your life after a man’s betrayal and give birth to a healthy baby.

1. Men rarely leave their pregnant wives and cheat on them. However, if this happens, decide for yourself whether you are ready to forgive the unfaithful person. If you love him so much that you want to give him a second chance, discuss this issue. But before that, give yourself a week to cool down and think through the conversation. If you do not forgive betrayals, then before breaking up, make sure that betrayal really happened, and that it was not your “good” friends who told you about your husband.

1. If a husband cheated on his pregnant wife and leaves, do everything possible and impossible to silently kick him out the door. Don't show your pain and weakness. This behavior, if it doesn’t bring him back, will at least preserve your self-esteem.

1. Believe in the best, even if it is very difficult. First, you can file for alimony. Secondly, an unmarried mother with a small baby is no less charming, and there will always be a man who is alien to male infidelity. With this you can have a great family.

What do psychologists say?

Your appearance. A husband can cheat on his pregnant wife if she has given up on her appearance. Try not to forget about yourself and remember that men are visual people. Getting up in the morning, neatly styling your hair, putting on a tight sexy suit (even for pregnant women) and tinting your eyelashes is something that won’t take more than 20 minutes. But a man will be pleased to see a flower with him, and not a shaggy weed.

His behavior. Some men are naturally apathetic and phlegmatic. Others are very active and sociable. If your husband, who belongs to the second type, suddenly suddenly becomes silent and thoughtful, walks like this for days on end and does not want to talk, find out the reason. Sometimes an open conversation is the best way to prevent a man from cheating.

Communication between families. Meet married couples who are also expecting a baby. This can be done in courses for young parents. Then your man will understand that he is not the only one and will be able to discuss all the issues that concern him.

Rapprochement. Don't distance yourself from your husband during pregnancy. Try to cook dinners together, go for walks, and go to the theater in your free time. All this brings you closer and makes you feel needed by each other.

Remember that a man does not cheat on his pregnant wife just like that. There is always a significant reason here. Discuss any issues with your husband, talk about your family and future child, and try to satisfy each other as before.

To understand the reasons for husbands cheating on their pregnant wives, first of all you should pay attention to the psychological aspect of this problem. The main factors that contribute to cheating on wives during pregnancy are a feeling of jealousy, uselessness to one’s partner, prejudices regarding the harm of sex during pregnancy, as well as the physical unattractiveness of a pregnant woman. Let's look at all this in more detail.

Why men cheat on women and, in particular, pregnant wives - psychologists answer that it’s all about physiology. The reasons for cheating are related to the fact that already in the initial stages of pregnancy (especially if the child is the first), relationships and the microclimate in the family change radically. Excerpts from scientific works of psychologists and psychoanalysts are unlikely to help an unprepared person. Therefore, in order not to miss the moment when men begin to think about cheating, let’s try to understand their psychology by giving them the opportunity to express their opinion.

Jealousy

Fedor K.:“Our child was planned and desired - and, by the way, my wife was able to get pregnant only after two years of unsuccessful attempts. After that, we were bombarded with an endless stream of questions: “Who do you want more - a girl or a boy? What will you call him/her? Are you happy together? etc. All this entered our lives almost immediately, from the first days after confirmation of pregnancy.

As a result, the future child and wife became the main topic of discussion for our friends and acquaintances. It was as if they stopped paying attention to me. Everyone was talking about who was not there yet, but there was not enough attention on me, who was already there. The home environment began to depress me - and I began to stay at work longer. There I became close to Tatyana, an employee of our company. I was not in love, but what is important, she was interested in my thoughts, my concerns, and was fascinated by my views on life. My daughter is now one and a half years old, and everything seems to have returned to its previous places, but my colleague helped me overcome that difficult period - she was the one who understood me.”

We see that Fedor, like many other men, did not set out to leave his family, and his affair with Tatyana is most likely already a thing of the past. It's simple: a man does not want to be ignored, knowing that all the love is given to the child. What kind of man would like to be the center of the earth, and then suddenly turn into an “empty place”?

The feeling that no one needs you

Kostya N.:“I remember how I was waiting for a new addition to the family, and I shudder at the memories that rolled in. It seemed to me then that I was mentally ready, like a rock! But my wife plunged headlong into her worries, and somehow they quietly began to use me as an ATM: they suddenly remembered me on payday or when the refrigerator was empty. They also remembered me when they needed to move a closet - that’s what family life is all about. I only felt normal when I was with friends outside of my family circle. At home there was a debriefing and a list of unfulfilled tasks.”

The husband, of course, did not rush to the all-understanding nymphs for support, but a step away from his family—distance from his wife—was taken. Not every man is capable and ready to easily adapt to the growing needs of a young family.

Sometimes a wife may want something salty or sweet in the middle of the night, or suddenly throw out her emotions, or she urgently, here and now, needs to remodel the apartment in anticipation of the birth of a child. A husband is needed as a guarantor of all needs, but he is not needed spiritually. “We’re going to have a baby, which means you have to...” The following is the list.

Belief that sex is harmful during pregnancy

Anton P.:“My wife and I were worried that our intimacy could harm the unborn child and our sex life came to naught. They lived like this for some time, but gradually male nature began to take its toll. And even though I didn’t have a permanent mistress, several meetings with different women helped me get a little distracted. It goes without saying that my wife had no need to know about this, because I was worried about the well-being of both her and the unborn child.”

For many men, sex with a pregnant woman seems unnatural and appears to be a dangerous and harmful activity, even in the absence of obvious contraindications. Only a woman’s imagination and wisdom in intimate matters can help here - so that “the wolves are fed and the sheep are safe.”

It happens that a pregnant woman, on the contrary, becomes insatiable in her sexual desires. Remember that such behavior can also confuse your spouse and he himself may take time out from your sexual relationship.

Physical unattractiveness of a pregnant woman

Zhenya L.:“I can’t explain why, but sex with a pregnant wife turned out to be something difficult for me. It didn’t turn me on, absolutely. It seemed better and easier to go left and come back, or even postpone everything until better times, especially since the wait for the birth of a child is not so long.”

Even if your health allows you to indulge in love pleasures, you yourself want this, but... a woman with a belly is a priori not perceived by a man as a sexual object - which quite often leads to husbands cheating on their pregnant wives.

It is important not to drive a man into a corner, not to reproach him for not loving you, for not caring about you. It will be better if you play along with him a little, promising to catch up after the birth of the child (“yes, dear, for me this is also not the most important thing yet, we will catch up later”). Your husband will regard you as an ally, get rid of feelings of guilt and stop avoiding your company.

It is quite possible that a man is cheating not because his wife is pregnant, but simply because his family’s boat has long since leaked. The main thing is to remember that not only women, but also their men are vulnerable during pregnancy. Husbands also, to some extent, become pregnant along with their wives, and some even experience toxicosis, “infected” from their spouse!